


The Worth of a Person

by grandmelon



Series: A Life Worth Living [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Friendship, Friendship/Love, Insecurties, M/M, Surgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 19:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2784986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grandmelon/pseuds/grandmelon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke had surgery and finds himself at a loss of what to do next. He wants to stay by Rin's side, but feels he no longer has the right to. </p><p>Rin slaps some sense into him and gives Sousuke the hope and encouragement he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hold My Hand

**Author's Note:**

> This came out a little different than I had expected, but I still like the over all outcome. This is the start of a series of ideas I have that run along the same timeline. Hopefully I'll get through them all...
> 
> Quick mentionable warnings I didn't think needed to be tagged. Slight independence/dependency issues. Sousuke's parents aren't kind like my depiction of other free! characters' parents. Sousuke's got a lot of emotional problems he had tried to fix, but couldn't by himself. 
> 
> I had a hard time editing this, so I hope I didn't miss anything. Please tell me if I did. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys the story! :)

Sousuke touched the mirror above the bathroom sink. The buzzing florescent bulb above bathed him in unnatural blue light. Bloodshot eyes sat on top of dark grey bags. His skin looked sickly and his hair stuck up on odd ends. He looked like total shit. He felt like shit too, his stomach still not handling the heavy medication they had him on.

 

“Wonderful,” he grunted.

 

He stood up straight, gently aligning his shoulders. The sling and wrapping made it a bit difficult. The weight of the sling was familiar, but it didn’t make it any easier wearing it.

 

“You look great,” he mocked.

 

A soft knock on the bathroom door pulled him out of his self-loathing. Turning off the water he left running for effect, Sousuke pushed a wet hand through his hair, trying to regain some control over the dark, matted clumps.

 

“Sousuke, do you need help?”

 

The boy let out a deep sigh. He wasn’t sure if it was the pain, the medication, or the situation but the babying was genuinely starting to piss him off. That was a testament to how much everything was affecting him. He rarely got mad about things.

 

“I’m fine,” he answered as he swung open the door with his good arm. His mother jumped back in surprise, clearly having pressed herself up against it.

 

“Oh! I was just a little worried because you were in there for quite a while.”

 

He put on his best reassuring smile, trying to put the woman who gave birth to him at ease. He couldn’t give her anymore reason to coddle him, she was being a bit over the top as is. Ever since it was announced he’d need surgery she had been badgering him nonstop.

 

He wasn’t at all used to that kind of behavior and it was making him uncomfortable. In fact this was nearly the exact opposite of what he had experienced growing up. His parents were kind, but distant people. Following family tradition, they put work and appearances above family, and left the kids to grow up on their own. As their only child, that meant Sousuke had to be a well behaved, self-reliant, and responsible human being from the time he was old enough to talk.

 

If his actions led to consequences, then Sousuke had to make sure he accepted them. That was the rule of their house. You take care of your own business by yourself. The only genuine family experiences Sousuke received were from the Matsuokas. It was that same family that Sousuke dreaded seeing that very moment.

 

Gou had called only a few hours earlier telling his mother that they’d be paying a visit, whether he wanted one or not. His mother liked the Matsuokas, and loved the attention. It worked out well for her, but she wasn’t the one with a sling around her arm.

 

She wasn’t the one who had someone waiting for her to achieve her dream with them.

 

The partial tear that he got over had reopened and could not be ignored a second time. Sousuke knew what the result would be even before he joined Samezuka and accepted it. However, his sweet, optimistic, beautiful friend did not. He did not know the inevitable. He didn’t even know how bad Sousuke’s original injury was. Sousuke didn’t even tell him he was having surgery, but it was unlikely his disappearance a week prior appeared ordinary.

 

He had to stop all medication he was using to dull the pain leading up to the surgery, because it was dangerous. He wasn’t able to use anything that could thin blood or make it difficult for it to clot. He had to stop everything, and for the first week of his detox it wasn’t yet unbearable. But ice packs and heating pads could only do so much, and Sousuke wasn’t keen on subjecting Rin to any more of his pain. He went home to finish the second week, and congratulated himself in doing something sensible when sleepless nights followed any wrong movement of his arm.

 

Rin had sent hundreds of texts, but Sousuke only said he was going home and gave noncommittal replies when he asked what he was doing. In fact, no one would even know what was happening if it wasn’t for Gou calling his mother to ask how he was doing. Her vague words led his mother right into her trap. He had told her he didn’t want anyone to know, but Gou already knew in her mind, and why wouldn’t she? They were so close to the Matsuokas after all.

 

“Excuse the intrusion,” a feminine voice rang. Sousuke leaned back on his hospital bed, propped up on pillows. He was not ready for this.

 

“Gou-chan! Where are Rin-kun and your mother?” his mother’s voice chimed. The pitch settled in his stomach, feeling a lot like the medication he was taking. Even in front of the Matsuokas, who she claimed to love, she couldn’t get rid of her cheerful façade. Sousuke didn’t doubt that underneath everything his mother did like the Matsuokas, but her secret envy always kept them at a distance.

 

“Mom is down in the cafeteria. We ran into Uncle on the way in.”

 

Gou’s practiced smile brought a smirk to Sousuke’s own lips. Gou kept her distance from his mom at all times. That was mostly because she had tried to set her up with Sousuke and other boys too many times to count. No matter how it started, every conversation ended up being about her finding a good man.

 

“Oh! I forgot! It is lunch time isn’t it? Sousuke’s nurse hasn’t brought anything yet so it slipped my mind.”

 

Sousuke almost gagged. Gou tilted her head towards the door, a subtle gesture.

 

“Uncle wanted me to ask if you’d come down and join them. Rin and I ate before we got picked up, so we aren’t really hungry right now.”

 

“Oh! Actually that’s perfect! I’m getting quite hungry myself. Sousuke doesn’t have much of an appetite right now, but if his nurse comes in while you’re here make sure he does eat something.” His mother smiled before walking across to exit the room. She stopped at the entrance.

 

“Where is Rin-kun anyways? I haven’t seen him in forever!” Gou turned on her heels, facing his mother again.

 

“Rin had to use the bathroom. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to see him after lunch.”

 

His mother’s mouth twitched and her smile went just a tad rigid. They were always like this in the past, and it was nice that Gou hadn’t lost any of her confidence. She was still able to stand up to the woman.

 

“Of course. Well, I’ll be back. Remember to eat Sousuke, dear!” And with that she left.

 

“I still can’t believe someone as sweet and sincere as you, has that as a mother.” Gou teased, plopping down in the chair closest to him.

 

Sousuke just flashed a smile in response. He wouldn't deny that his mom was less than amiable, but the offhanded praise made him uncomfortable. He never dealt with complements on his character well. He didn’t find himself to be sweet or sincere. In fact, he thought himself a really selfish, deceitful person. After all, it was his own selfishness that landed him there.

 

“So where is Rin, anyways?” he questioned, looking back at the door. Gou laughed, a soft sounding thing, yet so warm and sure.

 

“He really did need to use the bathroom. He was crying the whole ride here.”

 

Sousuke’s grin fell and his eyebrows furrowed in concern. This was exactly the reason why he didn’t want them coming.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

Gou hummed, swinging her legs a little in the chair.

 

“He was really upset you didn’t tell him.” She took her index finger and pushed the skin of his cheek in. Her face was serious and her voice lowered. “You should know better than to hide things from him now. Yesterday he was questioning whether you two are really friends or not.”

 

Sousuke took his good hand and slammed it into his face, causing Gou to squeak as she pulled her finger away. His grip tightened as he reprimanded himself.

 

“I’m an idiot.”

 

“I’ll say you are.”

 

The voice of his dreams came, drifting in from the doorway. Sousuke’s eyes went wide and he dropped his hand from his face, staring at his best friend. He looked like a drowned kitten with his wet hair and dejected posture. It was obvious he had tried washing away the tears from earlier, but new ones were quickly coming to replace them. The pout on his face could shatter any heart, and Sousuke wasn’t sure if he’d survive what was to come.

 

“You’re a god damn, no good, idiot.” The boy grumbled, stalking over to the bed. “I’d punch you right here if I could.”

 

“Rin,” Sousuke breathed. His name floated of his tongue, breathless and wonderful. He loved saying that name. “I’m sorry, I should have told you.”

 

Rin’s eyes watered and he angrily tried blinking away his tears, but ultimately failed to do so. His hands were drawn up in tight fists, shaking.

 

“Yeah you should have! Can’t you trust me with anything?”

 

Sousuke sat up and grabbed Rin’s wrist in an instant. His grip tightened as the rushing sense of vertigo and nausea followed his movements. He bowed his head breathing through his nose. He didn’t want to hurt Rin, but he always managed to do it anyways. He hurt Rin by not being upfront with him about what really mattered. His own stupid convictions always got in the way, and not for the first time he severely wished he had been raised by someone else. That way, maybe, just maybe he would be able to keep Rin happy. That stupid self-reliant, deal with your own problems quietly and by yourself bullshit had only ever created holes in their relationship.

 

“Are you okay?” Rin yelped, other arm coming up on instinct before stopping short of touching his bad shoulder.

 

“Yeah, just shouldn’t have moved that fast,” Sousuke let out a half-hearted chuckle. He picked up his head at a slow pace to make sure that his vision didn’t go swimming again.

 

Rin stared down at him with worry in his brow and concern in his eyes. Sousuke gave a gentle squeeze, watching his best friend. The guilt, anxiety and medications swirled around in his stomach, creating a horrific concoction.

 

“Rin, I’m sorry.”

 

All the air left Rin’s body and he gasped to get it back.

 

“Why are you sorry? You looked like you were going to die! What the heck do they even have you on?” he babbled, angry and concerned about his friend. Rin all but forgot about what they had just been talking about, it seemed. Sousuke smiled at him. This kind of fuss and care he was used to.

 

“I’m sorry for being a bad friend,” Rin looked like he was going to protest and Sousuke was quick to amend his mistake. “I should have told you earlier. Both this time, and when I originally hurt my shoulder. You’re my best friend and I shouldn’t have kept something so important from you.”

 

His sensitive friend pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, chin trembling. The tears came out relentlessly, and his shoulders shook as he tried to pull himself together. Gou noticed how Sousuke began to sway in his bed and hopped out of her seat, guiding her sobbing brother into it before shooting a serious look at Sousuke. Getting her point, he laid back against his pillows, hand still wrapped around Rin’s wrist.

 

“Well, I’m going to go check on our parents. You two take your time,” she said with a tiny smile. Gou didn’t care to see her brother blubber and cry. Even if he did it all the time, it still left her feeling down. Sousuke mouthed a thank you as she left.

 

“You’re an idiot,” Rin said between sobs.

 

“Yeah,” he agreed, closing his tired eyes. The anxiety from earlier was taking its toll, and his queasy stomach was starting to settle back down.

 

“Stop holding my wrist, idiot,” Rin mumbled. Crying induced hiccups finally made their appearance. Sousuke frowned but let go of his best friend. He let his arm rest at his side, not having the strength to pull it back onto his stomach.

 

“Sorry,” Sousuke mumbled, sleep seemed on the brink. The constant rhythm of Rin’s hiccups tugged on his consciousness. He tried to fight the feeling, tried to force himself to stay awake.

 

“Stupid, I said stop holding my wrist, not let go.” Rin grumbled, grabbing his hand. Sousuke’s eyes cracked open, not realizing they had closed, and he turned his head. The medication was getting to him.

 

“What?”

 

Rin flushed while wiping away his tears. He squeezed his hand and Sousuke’s fingers curled around them instinctively.

 

“Tired?” Rin whispered. Sousuke’s eyelids fluttered close again at the soft sound.

 

“Yeah. The drugs don’t always knock you out right away though. Sucks,” he mumbled. He sucked in air through his nose as he shifted a little, getting comfortable. Dull aches resonated from his shoulder in protest to his movements. His hand tightened around Rin’s.

 

“Wake me up before you have to go.”

 

Rin nodded, before laughing at himself, remembering Sousuke had already closed his eyes.

 

“Sure,” he smiled. He pulled his chair closer so he could rest his arm on the bed.

 

“Rin?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"It feels nice,” Sousuke sighed. Rin’s eyes swept over Sousuke’s face, taking in the content expression there. He frowned looking at the dark circles under his eyes.

 

“What does?”

 

“Holding your hand again,” he smiled. Rin froze, his face set ablaze by the genuine words.

 

“I won’t let go this time,” he promised. Sousuke couldn’t respond. A fuzzy darkness encompassed him, pulling him down into unconsciousness.


	2. Notes and Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke thinks about the future and talks himself into a hole. Rin returns and gets his mind off things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, it's a bit of a weird combination, but I didn't want to drag it out longer by having two super short chapters. I hope it doesn't come off too weird. ^^"

 

When Sousuke woke up again it was well into the afternoon. He blinked away the glue holding his eyes together. He picked up his hand to wipe away some of the fallen crust lying on his cheeks when he noticed the soft, but hard-edged object in his hand. He squeezed it and realized it was paper. The light coming in from the window was too weak to see correctly. He brought the paper up and placed it on his chest, digging his chin into it as he turned, making the stretch for the light switch.

 

With a couple of fumbled tries, he finally got it, and the light above his bed came to life. The room seemed extra dull and gloomy in its light, and Sousuke fleetingly wondered if he’d be less bothered by it when he finally got moved to a joint room. He settled back against the mattress, folding his pillow to support his neck better. He plucked the piece of folded paper out from under his chin and unfolded it with an unnecessary amount of care.

 

Inside was perfect chicken scratch. Sousuke bit down on his lip, grin still breaking through. When Rin was in a rush to write something it always came out looking like a kid wrote it, and secretly Sousuke thought it was adorable.

 

“Be back tomorrow, huh?” he questioned no one. The blissful feeling that came with the promise of those words warmed the miserable boy from his head to his toes.

 

He soaked in that feeling, in those words, in the memory of his sweet childhood friend holding his hand as he fell asleep. He felt like he was floating, though he wasn’t sure if it was the memory or the drugs.

 

He couldn’t wonder about it though, as the heavenly feeling had morphed into something much darker. Reality, as though sensing his sudden state of happiness, came rushing back to him. Dull pains from his arm became full aches. He buzzed the nurse, knowing that if he waited too long the drugs would finish wearing off before the new ones kicked in.

 

While he waited in the deafening room thoughts about his pain turned to thoughts about his shoulder. In a snow ball effect Sousuke was abruptly brought back to his greatest concerns.

 

The future had been on hold for him the moment he tore his rotator cuff. Even though it was originally only a small tear, it was still a big enough clip in his wing to ground him for good. Competitive swimming was a dream long gone, and swimming again with Rin was only a temporary fix. A wonderful, fulfilling, temporary fix that ended up permanently fixing some of the holes within his heart. Still, it was a dream he had and fulfilled within his high school life.

 

Now that that was ending he found himself staring out into a huge, black void with nowhere to go and no idea what to do.

 

Sousuke was lost.

 

In the end he’d likely find himself a regular office drone like his father, and even the thought left Sousuke in a cold sweat. He knew the difference between people who thrived in conformity and those who didn’t. He knew the difference between his father and his mother. He thrived on it, but she withered under it.

 

It was the reason for her masks, her forced fakeness, her jealousy. She wasn’t like the other housewives, so she worked at it. Sousuke had known since he was young that his mother shouldn’t have had kids. She would have been better off a bachelorette for the rest of her life, traveling across Asia like she had dreamed as a child. She didn’t choose her life, her parents did, and she followed through. She married her high school sweetheart and became a mother and a housewife in a small town.

 

His dad loved his endless job, his stay at home wife, his drinking parties with coworkers, and most importantly his routine. Routine was big in the Yamazaki household, and that’s why it was a wonder that Sousuke was allowed to swim in the first place. The harsh regiment of the boarding schools he attended were likely the reason.

 

But now Sousuke was stuck. His parents let him go to Samezuka under the same ruse he used with those who knew about his injury, the idea that he could recover. He knew his body though, and he knew his heart, and going in meant never coming back out. Sousuke knew that from start to finish. Now his cover was blown. He could stay at Samezuka to finish his high school life because they couldn’t be bothered to switch him out now, but what about afterwards?

 

College, career, and marriage. The words, each heavier than the next, were suspended above him. The only thing holding them up was a small safety net called senior year. Time was growing short though, and soon the net would fall, and those bone crushing truths with it.

 

He had nowhere he desired to be, nothing he wanted to do, and no one he wanted to be with.

 

Or at least that’s what he always answered when asked. If Sousuke knew one thing, one thing in the entire world, it was that he knew what felt wrong and what felt right to him. He was an instinctual person, and liked to feel things out. That’s how he just knew swimming would be something great for him after reluctantly trying it out. It’s how he knew that Rin would become the most important person in his life. How he knew that even now, he’d never get over the love he had for his friend.

 

Sousuke wanted with his entire being to be of worth to Rin. He wanted to be someone who could stand by his side. Not a burden or a bother. He didn’t want to hold Rin back. He tried everything he could to stop the things that blocked Rin from his dreams. Rin meant everything to him.

 

Rin was his best friend, the person he respected the most. The only person in the world he felt at ease with, the one he could tell anything to and not worry that he’d be judged for it. It was his own beliefs that withheld him from telling Rin about matters he thought would hinder him. It was his love for Rin that sabotaged his faith that Rin could weather anything. He was strong, Sousuke knew that, but his need to protect him got in the way.

 

He had to tell Rin the truth. That he shouldn’t wait for him. That he wouldn’t come back from this and that Rin should move on.

 

He’d work hard to achieve something worthwhile, to at least live a respectable life, with a career that he didn’t hate. Then maybe, if Rin still wanted him, he could stay by his side.

 

A rapid knock on the door and the voice of the nurse followed.

 

“Yamazaki-kun, I brought your medicine.”

 

*                            *                            *

 

“So where’s the ‘rents?” Rin asked, plopping down in the hospital chair with all the grace of his sister.

 

“Work and a friend’s, does it matter?”

 

Rin slouched in his chair, propping his legs up on the bed, sitting his feet in Sousuke’s lap.

 

“I might have finally taken first place on your mom’s hit list.” Rin grumbled, shoving his hands deeper into his sweater pockets. Sousuke tried to hide his amusement, but Rin caught the grin before he could bite it down and glared at him. He clearly did not think it was a laughing matter.

 

“Oh yeah? How’d you manage that?”

 

“Well, there was a, a bit of a dispute about the appropriateness of two teenage boys holding hands.”

 

Rin’s cheeks flushed in perfect unison with Sousuke’s own face heating up.

 

“They saw that?”

 

The irritated boy nodded, sinking lower into his oversized sweater, as though he was a turtle trying to hide in his shell. Sousuke raked his fingers through his hair.

 

“It’s not really a surprise, if she knew we held hands as kid’s she’d still flip. Boys don’t show emotion or affection, it’s unmanly Rin-kun,” Sousuke jested, mocking his mother’s voice. Rin didn’t crack so much as a smile. It seemed more upset about it than he was saying. The way he chewed on his lip and avoided eye contact proved it.

 

“She got super pissed when I said I wasn’t going to let go,” he confessed. Sousuke gaped at his friend.

 

“You what?”

 

He felt a little lightheaded. Did Rin really fight with his mother, a genuine demon from hell when provoked, over holding his hand? He should have just let go when her voice did that little crack it did when she was still trying to act polite before she snapped. His long haired friend crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

 

“I told her I wouldn’t let go so she flipped her lid. Your dad had to pull me out of the room. He wasn’t happy either, but he was more afraid of your mom doing something crazy than he was mad at me. I had to get Gou to slip you that paper. They wouldn’t let me in again,” he sulked.

 

Rin was all pout and no shame. As Sousuke regarded his friend, mulling over what he had said, he realized that the large dark sweater he was wearing looked very familiar. All his mental resources zeroed in on the oversized cotton wrapped around Rin.

 

“Is that mine?”

 

Rin’s head jerked up, confusion followed by comprehension showing on his face, and then he was facing the wall. He turned in his seat so fast the hand Sousuke had placed on his leg was yanked away from him. He snapped his arm back to him, rolling his good shoulder. The sudden tug made him tense on reflex and stretched the muscles uncomfortably. Rin’s cheeks were a hot red.

 

“Yeah, so?”

 

“Just wondering. No reason to yank my arm out of its socket.” Rin whipped his head back so fast Sousuke’s neck hurt just watching. The worry in his frantic eyes clashed with the blush on his cheeks. He was already jumping up out of his seat.

 

“Shit! Sorry! Does it hurt?” Sousuke stared at him vacantly. Rin’s panic started to rise and Sousuke grabbed his arm, rubbing his thumb back and forth, trying to sooth his friend.

 

“Rin, I was joking. That was my good arm. I’m fine,” he reassured. Calming down, Rin had the sense to look a bit embarrassed by his panic.

 

“Sorry, I forgot,” he confessed, eyes fixed on Sousuke’s sling.

 

“Staring at it isn’t going to do anything either,” Sousuke grumbled, before a sly smile graced his lips. He knew just the way to get Rin’s mind off it.

 

“So, fighting for my hand in marriage, huh?”

 

“Wha-What!?” Rin stuttered, eyes in a frenzy trying to find something other than Sousuke to look at. He relaxed at the sight; it was better having Rin embarrassed than upset.

 

“Pretty bold of you, Matsuoka,” he teased. Rin stopped his fidgeting and settled on bringing his arms back around his chest. Even when he was uncomfortable, Rin didn’t stand down when it came to challenges, or running jokes. It was rule number one when it came to the Matsuoka clan.

 

“Well, it’s not like I’d marry into your family,” he jeered. Sousuke felt joy falling out of his every pore. This was Rin, this is what he was, who he was. Sarcastic, playful, happy Rin. Not worried, depressed, guilty Rin.

 

“That’s hardly what you say to someone you want as your future husband.”

 

“Well, what did you expect? Yamazaki Rin is a horrible name. Now, Matsuoka Sousuke, that roles of the tongue,” Rin smirked. Sousuke felt a shiver run down his spine. It certainly did.

 

“Alright, I’ll give you that. But you get to be my cute stay at home.” Rin snorted.

 

“You wish. You’ll be the stay at home. Somebody’s going to have to take care of the kids.”

 

“Kids? Are you pregnant?” he laughed. Rin scoffed, not seeing the joke with the same amusement as Sousuke.

 

“No! Obviously they’re from your affairs.”

 

“Affairs?” Sousuke’s eyes widened in mock surprise. Rin waved one hand in the air with practiced dramatics.

 

“You clearly have been cheating on me while I was away in Australia.” Sousuke laughed with such force his shoulder hurt from the movement.

 

“But Rin it’s your own fault for leaving me all by my lonesome,” Sousuke smirked. Rin rolled his eyes before sitting his ass down on the hospital mattress, pulling up one thigh onto the bed, crossing his ankle over his knee.

 

“Alright, we’ll decide who’s going to be the stay at home the old fashion way,” he grinned, pulling his fist out of his pocket.

 

“You’re on Matsuoka,” Sousuke challenged, lifting up his own.


	3. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke finally gets released from the hospital and returns to Samezuka. What awaits him isn't just a sweet smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tagged Ai and Momo as characters in here but really they only show up for 3 seconds lol

“Welcome back Yamazaki-sempai!” cheered Momo.

 

“Yes, welcome back Yamazaki-sempai! I’m glad your surgery went well,” Ai piped up, not wanting to be out done by the boisterous Mikoshiba.

 

“Yeah! Congratulations sempai!” Momo yelled, bouncing up and down on the heels of his feet.

 

“Thanks,” Sousuke answered, a little bothered by the attention. Do you normally congratulate people on surgeries they had? He contemplated it’s appropriateness before letting it go. No harm no foul.

 

He had spent almost a week in the hospital counting the day of surgery, and he was more than ready to return to school. His parents had asked him if he wanted to take more time off, but he argued that his attendance level would suffer if he didn’t go back. It was true, but hardly a problem for him. They talked to the school and they reassured them that he wouldn’t be pushed, and he’d have someone help him carry his things to class and back.

 

Rin volunteered and no one rebutted the decision, even if Rin was busy with captain duties. Rin had only been able to visit him during the weekend, and he was sorely missed after. Sousuke’s face ached from grinning when he saw Rin waiting for him at the school gate, with his two minions at his side.

 

“Momo! Ai! I need to help Sousuke get back to the dorm, so head to practice before me. Ai, tell everyone to start the warmups and no slacking off on stretching. Oh, and make sure Minami doesn’t do anything too stupid,” Rin ordered. They saluted him before running off. Sousuke wasn’t sure why they were in such a hurry. It wasn’t like they were running late themselves.

 

“Is it okay to trust them with that?” Sousuke asked, glancing back at their disappearing figures. Rin huffed, hoisting the strap of Sousuke’s duffle bag up onto his shoulder. He smiled to himself before walking off in the direction of the dorms.

 

“Don’t tell anyone, but I’m probably going to make Ai the next captain.”

 

Sousuke’s face stretched in surprise, he wasn’t expecting that one.

 

“Really,” he mused. “You don’t think that’ll be difficult on him?”

 

“Maybe a little, but he can take it.” Rin flashed a toothy grin and Sousuke found himself smiling too.

 

“Well, he’ll definitely be ecstatic to know you think so highly of him.” The tips of Rin’s ears burned in embarrassment but instead of denying it he decided to switch subjects instead.

 

“So how much work did you miss? You gonna need help?”

 

Sousuke scowled at the very thought of the work ahead of him.

 

“Only this week’s, I collected last week’s work before I left and did it while I was waiting.”

 

“That’s good, but you still missed a math test,” Rin said peeking over his shoulder back at his tall friend. Sousuke grunted.

 

“That’s easy.”

 

“And an English test,” Rin smirked, a happy skip in his step as he heard Sousuke’s exasperated groan.

 

“You got to be kidding me. Was it hard?” Rin made a show of thinking about it. He brought his hand up to his face before he tilted his head with a cunning smile on his face, looking very much like someone who was laughing at their own private joke.

 

“Wouldn’t know, isn’t it all easy?” Sousuke growled playfully, picking up his pace just a bit, letting his long legs carry him past Rin with ease.

 

“Don’t we think we’re awfully clever today?” The words came out like liquid sarcasm dripping from his mouth. Rin picked up his pace, opening up the door to their room. “You’ll help me study right?”

 

“Of course,” he grinned, tossing Sousuke’s duffle bag on the ground. “Oh,” Rin started, spinning on his heels, placing his hands on his hips with a stern look. “You’re sleeping on the bottom bunk now, until you get out of that sling at least. And yes, this is nonnegotiable.”

 

Sousuke grimaced, the very real reality of it setting in. He was stuck with a sling for at least four weeks. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the bottom bunk. It was just that he had already given it up to Rin when he came there. He was already starting to be something negative in Rin’s life.

 

Rin didn’t like top bunks because sleeping high up bothered him. As a kid he and his sister had shared bunks for a year, and Rin had managed to roll out of it so many times they had just placed his bed on the floor. Even now he worried about rolling off, not that he’d ever tell anyone.

 

“You know, you really don’t have to do all this,” he regretted the words as soon as they fell out of his mouth. Rin’s grin dropped into an open frown and the disappointment was all over his face and posture. His fingers pulled up into his palm and he hung his head, biting down on his lip.

 

“Why are you always like that?” Rin gritted out. Sousuke stood still, afraid of what might happen if he moved.

 

“You,” he started, but stopped. He brought his head back up and looked at him with tears welling up in the corner of his eyes. “What am I to you, Sousuke?”

 

He felt his heart drop into his stomach.

 

“What?”

 

Rin wiped away the forming tears before crossing his arms, keeping his eyes fix on something in the corner of the room. His normal hysteria was neither present nor coming. He was the essence of calm.  

 

“You can’t trust me with anything important. You never tell me anything. You don’t want me to help you. Am I even your friend? Do you even want me around?” Rin took a small breath between each sentence. The desperation in his voice rose at the end, and more tears threatened to fall out.

 

Sousuke’s whole body was chilled, he felt like he was an outsider looking in. Nothing seemed right. It was ethereal. How in the world did Rin, of all people, feel like he didn’t need him? How on earth did Rin think he didn’t want him around?

 

“Rin, that’s not true at all. Of course I want you around, you’re my best friend,” he reassured with urgency in his voice.

 

Rin’s face showed doubt, but his eyes finally reached him. That confirmed it. He had to be really fucked up in the head, something must be wrong with him, to make the person he loves look like that.

 

“Then why do you keep putting up all these walls? I know I wasn’t a very good friend either. I should have sent letters back to you. I should have kept in touch. I should have told you about what I was going through, too. I learned my lesson, but you keep hiding things from me. You won’t even let me take care of you!”

 

Anger rang in his voice, starting to break through the sadness. Sousuke was lost at sea without a paddle. He had no idea how to calm him. With nothing he could fall back on, Sousuke gave the only thing he had left, the truth.

 

“I don’t want to be a burden to you,” he started. Rin opened his mouth, but Sousuke walked over and clamped his hand over his mouth.

 

“Listen, just. Let me talk for a second, okay?” Rin glared at him before he nodded. Sousuke let go and stepped back.

 

“Rin, we’re in our third year. You have your own shit you have to deal with. You have to be a captain, and an ace swimmer, and get ready for Australia. You can’t wait, you shouldn’t wait for me. I can’t swim anymore and that’s fine, I’ve already accepted that even before I came here.”

 

His hands were shaking. His voice was even and he hoped he looked better than he felt. It was strange and unnerving. Telling Rin these things shouldn’t be this emotional, it never felt this serious before.

 

“So, please, just stop feeling guilty and stop trying to save me. It’s enough for me that I get to be here with you, that I get to spend our last year of high school together.”

 

Sousuke, for the first time in many long and cold years, felt tears running down his cheeks. Since he was a young boy he wasn’t allowed to cry, and eventually he just couldn’t. His attention focused on the foreign water dripping down his face. He felt two, solid arms wrap around him. More tears fell on his shoulder. Sousuke just stood there, stunned.

 

He had no clue what to do or what to say, but it didn’t matter because his brain shut down. Tears continued to fall even though he felt no sadness in his heart, and Rin clung onto him, crying into his good shoulder. They just stood there in penetrating silence.

 

When Rin finally pulled away he just said he had to go to practice and that they’d talk about it later. Sousuke let him go without a word. After he left he fell onto Rin’s bed and curled in on himself. He felt bare. Raw and open and completely in the dark. He was too dependent on Rin, he wasn’t dependent enough. He didn’t understand it one bit. He had no idea what to do to make Rin happy, to make himself happy. What did he, a man without a direction, have to offer someone like Rin?

 

Sousuke felt his body slowly reduce to mush. He focused on his breathing to avoid thinking any further. He always had a bad habit of talking himself into despair. He had to pull himself together so they could finally have a talk that they had likely been building up to for years.

 

The sound of the heater kicking on and his deep breaths echoed inside his head.


	4. What am I Worth?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke and Rin finally have the deep, meaningful conversation they needed to have. Sousuke finds the strength to follow through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets heavy, and I hope it doesn't sound like Sousuke is too dependent on Rin. It's less about Rin and more about Sousuke not seeing his self-worth, which directly affects his relationship with Rin. 
> 
> One more chapter after this! I could never end it on such a bittersweet note lol

Sousuke spent his few hours of solitude calming himself down, preforming his rehab exercises, and listing the things he wanted to tell Rin. In the past Sousuke always stopped when there was something he didn’t want to talk about. Always telling Rin it was fine and he should just let it go, because they always managed fighting in the end if he did. But things were not fine, and that’s why he was sitting on Rin’s bed staring at his friend’s back as he finished drying his hair.

 

With a deep sigh, Rin turned around his desk chair and fell back onto it. He pulled his hair back and tied it up in a loose ponytail. His eyes swept the floor over and over again, mouth trying to form words before settling back into a frown. Both were afraid, afraid of saying something they couldn’t take back.

 

“I’m sorry,” Sousuke began, steeling himself. Rin peered up at him, eyes wary.

 

Sousuke took a deep breath and let it out, trying to dispel his anxieties. The words were heavy on his tongue and for a second he wanted to back out, just tell Rin to leave it and move on. But he knew that road, no matter how many times they traveled it they still ended up right back at the start.

 

“I wasn’t being fair. I kept those things from you because I didn’t want to be a burden to you.”

 

“You can’t decide that for me,” Rin interrupted and Sousuke sighed.

 

“It wouldn’t have changed anything anyways. I was still going to go through with all of it, even if you knew. My entire reason for coming back was to be in that relay with you. I don’t regret it, and if you keep holding on to that guilt it just makes me feel like I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot who can’t stop hurting his best friend,” he frowned.

 

Rin leaned forward on his knees, thinking about what he had said. It was so different from normal. Rin wasn’t the type to take time to think so carefully before he spoke. It was unsettling in a way Sousuke couldn’t quite place.

 

“I won’t feel guilty, then,” Rin grumbled.

 

“I just feel bad, and I have a right to. You’re my best friend, I didn’t want something like this to happen, but it did. I’ll get over if you’re happy, but you’re not.” Rin clenched his hands into fists, gritting his teeth.

 

“You’re not happy, and even if you say being here is enough I know it isn’t. I know you Sousuke, and it really pisses me off when you act like I don’t.” Sousuke tensed. This Rin Sousuke didn’t know. This Rin who was serious and angry and sad, but calm and mature in his words was a Rin he had never met.

 

“What do you want me to do?” he whispered. Rin’s eyes locked with his.

 

“I want you to stop lying, and stop hiding. I know your family works all lone-wolf, but I don’t, and you don’t have to either. You have me, and Gou, and mom. We’re here for you and it makes us happy to have you with us. It’s not like I’m trying to do things out of obligations, or favors. I do them because I want to Sousuke.”

 

He felt deep shame come over him. He was so used to giving to people who accepted it kindly that he forgot how it felt when sincere feelings were rejected. He thought back to when they were small, and Rin had refused to let Sousuke teach him how to ride a bike when he discovered his friend couldn’t, and how much it hurt him. How much it stung when he saw Rin asking someone else to teach him when he had offered first. He had understood why Rin didn’t want Sousuke to teach him, that it was embarrassing having a kid his age teach him something his dad should have taught him, but it still hurt.

 

Still, that was when they were young, and being stubborn or embarrassed was common. What excuse did he have now? They were already old enough to understand the feelings behind people’s actions. Rin was genuine in everything he did. Sousuke knew this and yet he had been rejecting those feelings.

 

“I know,” he admitted. “I just, forgot I guess.”

 

“Of course you did,” Rin sighed, but a tiny smile tugged at his lips.

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” Sousuke confessed, ducking his head down and clasping his hands together. It was an awkward angle because of the sling, but he felt like if he didn’t hold onto himself he’d lose everything.

 

“That’s okay. A lot of people don’t know what they want to do. It’s just that, you knew what you wanted to do,” Rin declared, with a lopsided smile.

 

“You know you can just follow me.”

 

Sousuke’s eyes found Rin’s, searching for answers.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Rin flushed a little, and brought his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing there before putting it back down. His fingers played with the hem of his shirt.

 

“Well,” he began, pausing as he pursed his lips together. “Sousuke, is there anything at all you want to do? Anywhere you want to be?”

 

“What?” Sousuke asked, reeling at the sudden change in topic.

 

“Just answer first, okay? And be honest. Seriously, genuinely, as honest as you can be,” Rin stated, gazing into Sousuke’s eyes with a finality that made him shiver. His mind went blank, but there was only ever one answer anyways.

 

“No, nothing.”

 

“Sousuke,” Rin warned, eyebrows furrowing.

 

“There’s nothing I want to do,” Sousuke corrected.

 

He left out where he wanted to be. The answer had always been Rin, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to cross that bridge yet. His honesty must have showed though, because Rin sat back with a tiny disappointed frown, but looking otherwise satisfied with the answer.

 

“If you have nothing in mind, then come with me.”

 

Sousuke’s brain broke down. His mouth was dry and his tongue weighed at least ten tons. A deep blush started at Rin’s cheeks and bled down to his neck and arms. The silence went on for what felt like hours. Sousuke tried moving every muscle in his body, trying to get something to listen to him. During his desperate attempt to regain control over his body, Rin had pulled his knees up to his chest.

 

“Huh?” The only sound Sousuke was capable of making finally left his lips. Rin blew at the loose strands of hair on his face, annoyed.

 

“You said being together right now was enough, but that doesn’t work for me. I want you to be with me. Sure, it would have been nice if we were going to the Olympics together, training together, but that doesn’t change that I want you by my side when I get there.”

 

He felt like he was entering some strange dimension, his ears were ringing from the blood rush and he wasn’t even sure if he was hearing Rin anymore.

 

“What are you talking about?” his mind supplied helpfully. Rin’s eyes opened wide before they slammed down into thin slits, angered by his question.

 

“The fuck’s that supposed to mean? I want you with me. That’s not a fucking hard concept to grasp. If you have nothing you want to do, come with me. If you’re going to fucking settle on being some office worker like your dad, then come with me and do that in Australia. If you want to find a new goal, then come with me and find it while I’m busy. If there’s nothing going for you than just be by my side, because I want you there.”

 

Sousuke stood up.

 

“I can’t do that.” The words were coming out of his mouth before he could even process them. Rin bolted up out of his seat, anger taking over.

 

“Why not!?”

 

“I can’t do that to you, Rin. I’m not just going to bum of my friend, I’m not going to just burden you while you try to achieve your dreams. I don’t have any right to do that.”

 

Sousuke’s eyes were wild and all of the sweet things Rin had told him were soured in his mind. Soured by lessons that were beaten into him since he was a boy. Rin slapped him, with no force behind it, but the act itself stopped him. Not even a sting left behind on his cheek, but his whole body locked up in shock. Rin was furious and fuming.

 

“Stop saying that! Stop saying you’re a burden! What the fuck do you even mean!? How the hell are you a burden!?” Rin’s face was hot with anger, his hands flying in the air.

 

“You act like I’m doing you some kind of fucking service or something! Like I’m allowing you to be graced by my fucking presence! I want you by my side, Sousuke. It’s not fucking rocket science! You’re not even denying that you want to be there! You just keeping fucking talking about how it’s ‘such a great burden’ and you can’t fucking bring yourself to do that to me.”

 

Rin was screaming things Sousuke couldn’t quite understand, and Rin saw it in his face. He willed himself to calm down, breathing out hot puffs of air. He pushed his loose hair out of his face and looked up at the ceiling, counting to ten before starting again.

 

“You keep talking about achievements, and burdens and I don’t get it at all! Sousuke, you aren’t what you do. You aren’t fucking defined by what you achieve in life, none of that fucking matters in the end.”

 

“It does,” he tried. Sousuke’s beliefs were being torn down by a strong-willed fire named Rin, and it was scaring him as much as it thrilled him. Rin was pulling down walls he wouldn’t even dream of trying to peak over. Rin wanted him by his side even if he couldn’t swim anymore? What you do for the rest of your life doesn’t define who you are? It was heresy.

 

“It doesn’t! It doesn’t matter what you do! It doesn’t matter if you’re an Olympic athlete or if you’re a fucking cashier at the supermarket Sousuke! If you’re happy then that’s all that matters, and I’m happy when I’m with you. And I’m happy when I’m swimming. But those things, they don’t make me who I am, do they?”

 

Rin was holding him by his forearms and Sousuke couldn’t even feel the ache from it. How could swimming not define Rin?

 

“Sousuke,” Rin called, searching his eyes desperately. Sousuke searched back, so lost and confused by his words. Sousuke had always prided himself in knowing he understood Rin best, but right now he felt cold. Rin was separate of him, and their usual understanding was gone. He was clinging to Rin’s words, trying to comprehend their meaning.

 

“Sousuke, if I didn’t want to be an Olympic athlete anymore, would you stop caring about me?”

 

“No!” Sousuke cried, shocked by the question. Rin offered a small smile to calm him.

 

“Would you still care about me if I worked as a cashier?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Would you still care about me if I lost both my legs?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“If I had awful burn scars all over my face?”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Why?” Rin asked, removing his hands. Sousuke didn’t even need to think about it.

 

“Because you’re Rin.”

 

The blinding smile he received melted everything away. All the worry that had settled in Sousuke’s heart, all the questions about what Rin was talking about, about why this was so important to Rin, they were just gone. His mind was terrifyingly blank.

 

“But if I don’t swim, and I don’t have this charming face,” Rin teased. “Then why do you still care?”

 

“Because you’re you,” he repeated, completely breathless and at a loss for what was going on.

 

“I want to be with you because you’re Sousuke. You’re you. That’s why I want you with me, do you get it?” Sousuke felt his knees collapse under him and he fell back onto Rin’s bed. Rin sat down with him, and grabbed his hands.

 

“You don’t need to be anything, do anything, to make me want that Sousuke. It’s just who you are, the way you treat people, the way you treat me. That’s what makes a person. That’s why even if everything goes terribly wrong, even if you weren’t so disarmingly gorgeous with great muscles,” Rin joked, a gentle smile on his lips, watching the stunned boy in front of him. “I’d still want you by my side.”

 

Every nerve in his body tingled as he took in Rin’s words. He wanted him by his side just because. Rin wanted to stay with him, even after Sousuke’s shoulder broke down and his future fell apart. He could stay by Rin’s side simply because he existed, he didn’t need to prove anything.

 

“Sousuke, you’re worth more than what you do in life. Just existing, and treating people well is good enough. And you make me feel good, Sousuke. About myself, about the future. You make me want to do and achieve crazy things just because.” Rin sucked in a big breath. Eyes pointed away from him, looking off to the side again.

 

“I can live without you, but god would that suck. I don’t want to go off by myself knowing you’re just here going on with life the way your parents want it simply because you don’t have a plan. I don’t want to just meet up again in ten years to see you married to some girl I don’t know and living some life I haven’t heard about.”

 

Rin wasn’t blushing, but when he looked back up again his eyes were serious, and every part of Sousuke shook.

 

“I love you,” he blurted out. He didn’t even have the chance to fear the words that spilled out of his mouth. His mind was already blank and all of a sudden he was being hugged and warm lips were against his cheek.

 

“I know. I love you, too. So stop brooding and trying to take on the world by yourself. Come out of that place already, Sousuke. Stay with me instead.”

 

Sousuke was crying for the second time that day, and he couldn’t even bring himself to care.


	5. Love Stronger than Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their last year of high school is over, and it's time to get things moving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a super time skip if anyone is wondering. My headcanon is that he got surgery right after free! ended so, early Septemberish? They've already solidified their plans and now it's just after Graduation. (Just so everyone knows recovery after rotator cuff surgery is about 3-6 months) 
> 
> I'll be writing more about their adventures during that year in one of those other story ideas I have. I don't know if I'll write it all, but I certainly will write something! 
> 
> I hope everyone liked the story! Thanks for reading :)

“Isn’t it a bit shady, being here while your parents are gone?” Rin inquired, eyebrows raised at the lack of car in the driveway and shoes in the entrance. Sousuke glanced back at him as he walked into the house.

 

“Are you kidding me? If I want any of my stuff I need to get it now, before they come back and realize what I’m doing.”

 

Rin followed after giving the place an onceover.

 

“I haven’t been here in a while, but the place still looks so, stiff?” He questioned his word choice before nodding to himself. Sousuke let out a bitter laugh.

 

“I’d say. Barely lived here anyways, but I do have a lot of my stuff stored here.”

 

Sousuke opened the door to his room, making a beeline for his closet. It was packed full of various sized boxes.

 

“Jeez,” Rin whistled. “Your bedroom looks like a hotel.”

 

“Probably because it worked like one,” Sousuke joked. He started pulling out boxes and stacking them on the floor. “You going to go grab the dolly, or should I?”

 

“Nah, I’ll get it. Just don’t over exert yourself while I’m gone. Don’t get crazy just because it’s been six months.”

 

“Six months is the recovery time, isn’t it?” he smirked. Sousuke waved off his lover’s scowl. “Fine, fine. I’ll let you do all the heavy lifting,” he grinned, blowing him a kiss. Rin choked on some spit before skittering out the door, grumbling about stupid boyfriends.

 

Sousuke took the brief moment he had alone to walk over to his desk and pull out the picture frame he had hidden in the bottom drawer. It was an old picture of Rin and him, arms slung around each other’s shoulders. He had to put it away before he left for middle school, afraid if he had it displayed his mother would take it for one reason or another.

 

He ran his fingers along Rin’s face, a cheesy smile plastered there, before he slipped it into his bag along with a couple of his swimming books. Once his desk was sufficiently cleared of anything of importance he dropped his bag on his bed. He had already out grown all the clothes he had at home, but he still found himself sifting through his dresser looking for anything meaningful.

 

When he pulled out his favorite hoodie from middle school he smirked. It was probably Rin’s size, he mused. It was shades of blue and sea green tie-dyed by his friends. On the back it had his last name and a cartoon whale shark ink printed in the center. They were unofficial team jerseys that they made during one of their summer camps. He couldn’t let it go, plus he’d been itching to see Rin in it since he saw him stealing his sweaters from Samezuka.

 

“What’s that?” asked a voice behind him. Sousuke spun around, holding it up so he could see.

 

“Team jersey.”

 

Rin walked up to it, eyes wide with surprise at how nice it looked.

 

“That’s really nicely done.”

 

“Yeah, one of the guys’ had a dad who was into printmaking. He helped everyone customize. Here, put it on.” Sousuke said, holding it open for him. Rin stared at him before unzipping his own sweater and sticking his arms through. Sousuke pulled it over his head and burst out into fits of laughter.

 

“What!?” Rin barked, angry that Sousuke was laughing at him. “Does it look stupid on me?”

 

“No, you look good,” Sousuke said shaking his head. “It’s just, I thought that it’d be more your size since it was from middle school.”

 

Rin lit up and growled, punching Sousuke in his good arm. The sweater pooled around him just the same as all the other’s did. He wasn’t quite swimming in them, but it was obvious to others that they weren't meant for him. The sleeves came down to his finger tips and the bottom could cover his butt when he was standing.

 

“I really hate how tall you got.”

 

“That’s a lie, you love it,” he grinned, kissing Rin’s nose. “And you love wearing things bigger than you anyways.”

 

“Well I guess it’s a good thing I have a telephone pole for a boyfriend then,” Rin joked. Sousuke only grinned back, still too happy about how his boyfriend looked in his sweaters to rise to the bait.

 

“Let’s hurry up, any longer and I might do something stupid.” Sousuke warned, making a pointed glance at the bed. Rin’s whole face turned a lovely rosy hue. He busied himself with setting the boxes on the wheeled contraption he had brought from the car.

 

“Come on, mom’s not going to want to sit out there all day.”

 

“Right, right,” Sousuke chuckled, stacking the boxes on top of each other.

 

The work took no time at all with two people, and soon Rin’s mom’s car was full of boxes and bags. All of Sousuke’s valuables packed away in the trunk and the back seats. Looking at it all inside the small vehicle, Sousuke couldn’t help but feel a weird sort of pride that his entire life was in the back of the Matsuoka’s car.

 

“Alright boys, I’m off! Call me if you want a ride,” Rin’s mom smiled, starting the car. Rin rolled his eyes.

 

“Mom, it’s like, a quarter my morning run, I think we can handle walking back.” She pouted in response, a tiny frown on her lips. There was no doubt as to where Rin got his sad kitten eyes.

 

“We’ll be fine, thanks mom,” Sousuke added. He grinned from ear to ear at the way her face lit up in delight.

 

“Well, at least text me when you’re coming back. Bye boys, good luck,” she said with a tight mouth, concern in her eyes. She blew them kisses as she left.

 

“Your mom’s amazing,” Sousuke announced, walking back inside his parents’ house. Rin followed after, observing his tall best friend.

 

“You called her mom.” Rin stated, like it was something new to Sousuke. He just smirked, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand.

 

“Well, I’ll be marrying into the family, won’t I?”

 

“Wha, What!? You,” Rin stuttered before he pulled the hood of his sweater over his head, trying to hide his face. “Oh, whatever.”

 

“Matsuoka Sousuke really rolls of the tongue, doesn’t it?” Sousuke continued, grinning wider at the way his boyfriend tried to crawl deeper inside the sweater.

 

“Yeah, yeah. So when are your parents coming home anyway? Need to ask for their blessing and all,” he sneered. Sousuke pulled Rin over to the couch, rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand.

 

“Soon. Dad picks mom up from her club at six on Sundays.”

 

Rin emerged from his new shell, looking thoughtfully at the clock on the wall.

 

“Do you think they’ll try to separate us?” he whispered, squeezing Sousuke’s hand a little tighter. Sousuke didn’t feel the fear Rin did, but he understood it. In fact, he was pretty sure Rin was the only one worried about what his parents had to think.

 

“Doesn’t matter if they do. I’m leaving and they can’t stop me. If I have to kick up a fuss I will, and the last thing they want is the whole neighborhood knowing their son eloped with his boyfriend.”

 

“Well if you say so, but we’re still only eighteen.” Rin peered from around his hood. Sousuke pulled it down and smoothed out his hair, running the long strands through his fingers.

 

“But eighteen is a legal adult in Australia,” he murmured, placing a kiss on Rin’s forehead. “Besides, they’re going to disown me as soon as I tell them.”

 

“Aren’t you bothered by that!?” Rin hissed, trying to keep his voice from rising too high. He didn’t want to yell at Sousuke. His boyfriend just kissed his forehead again, and then his cheek, and his lips.

 

“Not really. I know that it’s different for you Rin, but there’s nothing really tying us together other than blood. You, your mother and your sister have been more of a family to me than all of my relatives put together.” His voice was serious, and low. Rin found no trace of dishonesty in his eyes, and he felt his breath escape him. He leaned forward and they brought their lips together once more.

 

“I love you.” Rin whispered, wrapping his arms around him. Tears were in his voice, but not his eyes, and Sousuke thought it was both heartbreaking and breathtaking all at once. Kisses, and more kisses, soft clasps of the lips.

 

Rin filled him with happiness, and confidence, and he was afraid of his own dependence on him. He promised himself he’d find a new dream, and ways to make himself happy without Rin’s help in Australia. He’d find his life with Rin still by his side. He didn’t have to do it alone.

 

“I love you, too.”


End file.
